Many a good byes had been said and done with. The time when I left college was one of those. Teary eyed and full of anxiety of facing the world - large and scary. The college good bye was symbolic of the fact that one was leaving the comforts of life into a the world filled with harsh realities, one where men had burdens to bear and sacrifices to make.
Then there was the good bye to Amma when I had to leave for the USA. I knew I would come back, but Amma was worried I wouldn't. Her tears broke my heart. I just wanted to stay. I even for a brief moment imagined calling up the boss and saying I wont go. But then as I said earlier the burdens and sacrifices in life had set in. And 2 years later I was back and with it Amma's constant smile.
I remember the good bye I said to the house I grew up in. We had to sell it off as Appa was facing hardships in business and debts had to be cleared. I was too young to understand all of this. All I knew was that the only place I had ever called home was going and I thought it right to say good bye.
But today's good bye was hard for me. I couldn't bring myself to say it. Unlike all the other good bye's I had faced, this one didn't provide even the slightest hope of a reunion. There was no chance of a meeting again. And that is when the lump in your throat forms. When you realize that the last words you are every going to say is this. The last words that the listener will carry in her head when she thinks of you is this. Of all the things you could have told her, of all the things you shared, of all the conversations and laughter, good bye will be the one that stands out like a full stop bringing an end to a beautiful sentence in the poem of your life.
The phrase so full of meaning and so empty at the same time. So much to be expressed and all that is left to express it are two words - good bye.
But the two words brings in so many new questions. Will she come back? Will we meet again? What if? What if not? Will she think about me? Was she every happy with me?
Time went on, and the rawness of the good bye had healed. I met her at the airport after a few years. I asked her how she was and what she did. All went well and when the call for her flight came she got up, said good bye and left.
The words stung and I felt the pain as the raw wound opened again.
Then there was the good bye to Amma when I had to leave for the USA. I knew I would come back, but Amma was worried I wouldn't. Her tears broke my heart. I just wanted to stay. I even for a brief moment imagined calling up the boss and saying I wont go. But then as I said earlier the burdens and sacrifices in life had set in. And 2 years later I was back and with it Amma's constant smile.
I remember the good bye I said to the house I grew up in. We had to sell it off as Appa was facing hardships in business and debts had to be cleared. I was too young to understand all of this. All I knew was that the only place I had ever called home was going and I thought it right to say good bye.
But today's good bye was hard for me. I couldn't bring myself to say it. Unlike all the other good bye's I had faced, this one didn't provide even the slightest hope of a reunion. There was no chance of a meeting again. And that is when the lump in your throat forms. When you realize that the last words you are every going to say is this. The last words that the listener will carry in her head when she thinks of you is this. Of all the things you could have told her, of all the things you shared, of all the conversations and laughter, good bye will be the one that stands out like a full stop bringing an end to a beautiful sentence in the poem of your life.
The phrase so full of meaning and so empty at the same time. So much to be expressed and all that is left to express it are two words - good bye.
But the two words brings in so many new questions. Will she come back? Will we meet again? What if? What if not? Will she think about me? Was she every happy with me?
Time went on, and the rawness of the good bye had healed. I met her at the airport after a few years. I asked her how she was and what she did. All went well and when the call for her flight came she got up, said good bye and left.
The words stung and I felt the pain as the raw wound opened again.
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