Changing times - A CM behind bars and a 21st century man who wants an "obedient" wife.

           On the one end the Chief Minister of a state languishing behind bars. At the other end was a woman of the 21st century, fastidious in her belief that women ought to be happy in the servitude of men. Talk about contrasting landscapes in the tide of life.

          When J.Jayalalitha's case came up for the hearing I was sure she would be acquitted. I was proved wrong. I then was confident that she would then get bail at the first hearing of the high court. I was surprised, pleasantly to an extent. I then wrote off the case saying the bench hearing of the high court at Bangalore would grant her bail so that she came back with a fury that would scorch Tamil Nadu. I was disproved again, and that was when I was stupefied, decided to cast away my cynicism and don the garb of a believer - a believer of the judiciary,the judiciary that stands vindicated of cynicism. Given the right precedents and perfect inspirations (the Supreme courts hard come down on tainted politicians was ostensibly cited by the ruling judge when pronouncing the rejection of the bail plea), our judges stood up to the challenge. I was surprised, a little proud even of the achievement of our nation. 

         And then nearer home, an acquaintance faced a harsh first year of marriage and came back from a foreign land. She brought with her lots of learning - Expat life is not all honey and roses. It's sometimes "do your own laundry, do your own work, no time to gossip, cut down your expenses or you'll never achieve the savings you came for in the first place" etc. And of course the next thing - There still are men of the 21st century Indian metros, well educated, well traveled, well to do; who still believe that women are just some pawns in the game of life. To be used as per their fancies, to do and think as per their biding. They are to devote their lives for the man of the house, their only joy is the joy of their men. They men are akin to Gods. They shall not be called by name. Their feet are to be worshipped every morning and evening. And whats more, their mothers are to be revered as well, for she has had the generosity to bring forth our hero in to this world to give the woman an opportunity to serve him. My acquaintance was a strong independent woman. 

          She was brought up with a bit of self respect which was difficult to just relinquish at the whims of a fanatical man. Yes, a fanatical man whose much adored idea of marriage is just a base desire to own a woman as an object, to be used as and when needed. She decided it was time to say good bye. She did it quite hesitantly, not because she felt she was missing out on some opportunity of better times, but because of what the world would speak of her to her parents. Her parents stood by her. The acquaintance's aunt, as I overheard a conversation, was expressing her views on these events. She was of the firm belief that a woman's place in this world was under the protective wings of her man. So what if he is a little eccentric or had Puritan views. So what if he made her decisions for her, all the more better in fact, she retorted. So what if he was unwilling to go for a potency test, in spite of always maligning her in the name of not being able to conceive, he was a man, and for men are reserved royal treatment.

          It got me thinking. It's not just the men who have made our society a horridly patriarchal one, it's our women folk too. Women of the generation before ours and a few ones before that, depended on men. They were not allowed and education. They were not allowed an opportunity to be economically independent. They were of the mentality that they were weak and the only worse fate than that of not having a male consort in life was lost honour. They were painfully tolerant and were grateful if they had a meal, a roof over their head and a God of a husband to take care of them. I am not belittling anybody here, but this was how the world wanted women to be. And so they were. Today's women have outgrown this mindset, but some mothers and grand mothers find it hard to let go of age old ideas.

          And it was a contrast of significance - the judiciary suddenly showing strong positive changes while some 21st century men and even women who still expect their wives to be "obedient".