Long distance love

Back in India my girl-friend and I met almost every day, shared meals 3-4 times a week. Always hung out with each other on week-ends and to top it, always had phone conversations for hours together at nights – thank to the telecom policies of TRAI.

This went on for a few months blissfully and then one day I had to leave for Africa on work. I was confused if I wanted to go or not, and then based on the handsome heart vs brilliant brain war, the handsome heart won and I was in Africa before I could even review my decision. Being the planner, before I left I started an online journal and gave access to my girl, installed whatsapp on my mobile and got my skype account in place before I even left.

But then no matter how much precaution we took, me and my partner, we did face a lot of problems ranging from me being very lazy to write the journal, to the network here being too poor to manage skype conversations etc.

The majority of the problems came because we had a very intense communication pattern back in India and when we couldn’t manage it here, we started feeling that something was missing.  To add fuel to fire I was just discovering new friends and past times and I was a little lost too.

In spite of all this what helped us in maintaining balance was the whatsapp application. I was always on my mobile, even when my new friends here were teasing me about always giving updates to my girl on everything I did. Though it was sometimes annoying to be at the end of their jokes, this act of ours to communicate all the small details of our lives through 140-160 characters helped us through this very hard time.

Though we did not have as many conversations as we would have liked over phone, this made up for a great part of it. But even then we had a lot of issues that we had to sort out.

I wanted to write a few things that made my long distance relationship easier. Maybe this will help couples to overcome all the small hurdles and keep the love flowing…

1.    1.    Communicate through all channels - Use SMS, voice, e-mail, missed calls, look for mobile applications like whatsapp, viber. If possible get skype credit. The paid skype products works a million times better than the free version. Get google credit for google to mobile phone calls, though not very good at all times, it is an alternative.
 
2.       Start writing – there is nothing like a long mail from your loved one describing their days and lives in a new place. Writing lets one to describe things in a way that a vice call or an SMS can never. It automatically makes on give details and believe me – it’s the details of your life that a loved one looks for, you may have gone to Victoria falls, but how you got there, what did you do see en route etc is what makes her excited.
 
3.       Photograph your life – Start a new hobby, photography. Send your loved one pictures of your life there, your friends and work place, your place of stay. This helps her visualize the life you live there. When you say you are at home chilling, she would be able to see you in in her mind’s eye and that comforts them.
 
 
4.       Increase tolerance, patience and communication – That’s the bottom line. A new place, new situations, new culture. Both partners will have to increase their patience and tolerance for the other. And yes they would have to communicate, communicate and communicate some more. Unlike in face to face interactions in a long distance relationship one does not get to see facial reactions, body language etc and therefore it takes twice the effort and making oneself understood and emoting.
 
In spite of doing all this, there are bound to be problems that stem from fear of the new and unknown on the part of the partner staying back home. Assure her and go the extra mile to make her as comfortable as you are in the new place and let the love flow.