The title of this post was inspired by a Cinema comedy scene
where the comedian advices the lead actor, during his advice sermon saying –
different women have different feelings.
This I felt was apt at describing culture shock. One man’s
meat is another man’s poison is so well experienced when a person travels
abroad. For eg in Lusaka, Zambia it is considered rude to honk while driving.
It is only used when it is totally unavoidable. In India it is rude to not honk
– because you would be causing an accident on account of the number of turns in
the roads and the small side alleys, which one always uses to avoid mainstream
traffic, filled with shops, kids playing cricket, women washing clothes: I’m
sure you get the drift.
Also the way one shook hands here, the first time I shook
hands in a friendly manner with a colleague he was awkwardly waiting… I realized
unlike in India a hand shake here does not get over with just the shake, you
then moved your hands to a position one takes when doing hand wrestling and
then slide your palms and let your fingers press the other persons and pull
back so that at the end you hear a small snap when your fingers finally move
away from the other persons. Friendly people, super friendly hand shake.
And then the condom incident - One Friday I went into the
men’s loo at the office and I found near the wash basin two big boxes of
condoms. I initially thought it was tissue and only on opening it did I see
that it was condoms. This was an act of corporate social responsibility. The
prevalence of AIDS is very high in Zambia and this was a way of trying to
reduce its spread. Though being a city born and educated forward Indian man (I
think I am.), I was surprised by the box of condoms. Bit if I ever see it again anywhere it wouldnt be surprising at all.
But this culture shock is not just at the superficial level
of hand-shakes and care honking and condom boxes. There a lot of things that
can make on bolt up in shock! For eg: one day at a brai (that’s what a barbecue
is called here) after a few drinks and a huge helpings of chicken, pork and
beef the conversation turned to girl-friends. My friends here asked if I had
one back home and I said yes. I thought they would ask her name and other
details, but no their next question was if I had one here in Zambia and I said
no. With amusement they asked why, and I shrugged my shoulders and in a matter
of fact way said, loyalty. They all burst ut laughing.
Cut the scene to today. On my way back from office I was as
always having a conversation with my cab guy. At particular point he was saying someone had so
many girl-friends and so on, and I jokingly asked him how many he had, he was
married with two kids and expected him to say thing to the tune of – with one
wife itself life is heard etc – but he said he had just two. If this was a
shock the jolt was yet to come – I asked what if his wife found out? With a
little hesitation he said, “she knows”!
I truly was shocked, not because people were more unfaithful
here, Indian men are no less prominent in this department either, but because
of the fact they spoke openly about it and acknowledged and the women folk
actually accepted it, maybe not all, but then my perception as of now is this.
Maybe I’ll research it more. Ask women folk if they were ok with their husbands
dallying with other dames – and get beaten up??? No thank you, let my perceptions
be shaped with time, I’m in no hurry.
The lesson – let nothing jolt you, you know the worst thing
you imagined? It is a way of life somewhere in some place…
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