Men are social animals. We need to belong to a group. It was probably a trait developed during evolution - that trip from monkey to man - where our brain sizes increased exponentially and it was seen that being in a group ensure more safety, more food, more sexual partners, more of the all good stuff basically. And that'e probably where the entire concept of "having an identity" came up. For example lets say a few thousand years ago, in a far away cave somewhere a gang of cave men were huddling around a fire. There comes a new entity at the cave entrance, he was wearing no clothes unlike the already present cave men who were wearing deer skin tunics. He was not allowed inside. There folks we have the first reported case of an identity crisis. Where do I belong?
Lets come back to today. Every one of us goes through this in our lives. Some of us are aware that its called an identity crisis, some just know it as its symptom - loneliness, being left out, not fitting in etc. All this generally happens in the growing up phases. You know, like how they depict in the movies, there are the cool gangs, the giggly girl gangs, the nerds, the cheer leaders, the bad boy gangs, and so on. This phase is generally where one does not choose a group because of strong feelings or opinions, its just in order to have a group to belong to, to fall back on, to spend time with and to not feel vulnerable. This is also where some events can shape ones perceptions and mindsets for their identities later on in life. Lets not also forget the impact of families on these kids in shaping up their identity, especially in countries like India where one does not just live for oneself, but for society as a whole.
Lets now cut the scene to adulthood. Ask a man how he likes to describe himself and he will say his name, his work, the place he hails from and most probably something about him that shows his prowess over something that people around him are not as good at.
His name denotes his religion - one of the biggest identities in a persons life. It is hammered into the heads of kids day in and day out, through rituals, through media, through families and what not. His work denotes his position as a value creator in this world, also implies that he is skilled at providing for himself and for his family. His place denotes his belonging to a tribe, he belongs to a geographic location that serves as an identity that is recognizable, its important to be part of a locale that is known. His special skills, this is what differentiates him from all the others on the face of the Earth.
The sad part of having an identity crisis is that one tends to start looking for a crutch which will help fill the void created. It is not necessary that this crutch always be of a good nature. Some find this crutch in the form of their profession (best salesman, famous actor), some in their relationships (as a good father, husband etc) which are generally alright.
Some find this solace in the form of fanaticism. Some find meaning in belonging to a faction of men who kill and loot and plunder. The man in search of identity truly finds it here, at the cost of what does not matter to him. This violent way of life, if it can make him feel as part of an important group, is worth it, is probably what drives him to this way of life.
We are not that different from those tunic wearing cavemen are we?
Lets come back to today. Every one of us goes through this in our lives. Some of us are aware that its called an identity crisis, some just know it as its symptom - loneliness, being left out, not fitting in etc. All this generally happens in the growing up phases. You know, like how they depict in the movies, there are the cool gangs, the giggly girl gangs, the nerds, the cheer leaders, the bad boy gangs, and so on. This phase is generally where one does not choose a group because of strong feelings or opinions, its just in order to have a group to belong to, to fall back on, to spend time with and to not feel vulnerable. This is also where some events can shape ones perceptions and mindsets for their identities later on in life. Lets not also forget the impact of families on these kids in shaping up their identity, especially in countries like India where one does not just live for oneself, but for society as a whole.
Lets now cut the scene to adulthood. Ask a man how he likes to describe himself and he will say his name, his work, the place he hails from and most probably something about him that shows his prowess over something that people around him are not as good at.
His name denotes his religion - one of the biggest identities in a persons life. It is hammered into the heads of kids day in and day out, through rituals, through media, through families and what not. His work denotes his position as a value creator in this world, also implies that he is skilled at providing for himself and for his family. His place denotes his belonging to a tribe, he belongs to a geographic location that serves as an identity that is recognizable, its important to be part of a locale that is known. His special skills, this is what differentiates him from all the others on the face of the Earth.
The sad part of having an identity crisis is that one tends to start looking for a crutch which will help fill the void created. It is not necessary that this crutch always be of a good nature. Some find this crutch in the form of their profession (best salesman, famous actor), some in their relationships (as a good father, husband etc) which are generally alright.
Some find this solace in the form of fanaticism. Some find meaning in belonging to a faction of men who kill and loot and plunder. The man in search of identity truly finds it here, at the cost of what does not matter to him. This violent way of life, if it can make him feel as part of an important group, is worth it, is probably what drives him to this way of life.
We are not that different from those tunic wearing cavemen are we?
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