Not a happy women's day

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All the messages I see on social media and all the wishing a happy women's day though extremely encouraging, is a travesty to women's rights and freedom in our country. While we go online and wish the women in our lives on a day dedicated to wish them, how many of us have taken the pains to make their lives easier, if not tolerable?

I was at a restaurant recently and the family opposite to me was having a nice family outing. The young girl of the family ordered something and her brother did too. The father ordered what the boy wanted and after censuring the daughter with a hand gesture as if hitting her, he ordered something else for her and her mother - it was a sad sight. Don't women have the right to even choose food of their liking?

Being a woman in today's world is a fight in itself. At home they are expected to be the saviour and the ships captain, first mate, scrubbing boy and engineer, sometimes even used as the safety boat when in trouble! At work they are given lower salaries, ridiculed and given lower priority for career growth. Why, in fact a woman is not considered for a promotion or a raise because she would have to take off for sometime when she has a child - she is a child bearing machine you see!

The truth of the matter is this - a woman cannot step out of the house today without worrying. Unlike a man she is judged in every step of her life. She is fat, she is ugly, she is uptight, she is flirty, she is slutty, she is "maal", she is a natural beauty, she is overly made up, she is over dressed, she is under dressed, she is not a good girl, she is homely - the list is endless. And so when a woman decides to step out of her home she has to be conscious about how she looks, what she wears, how she walks, how she speaks - is there a moment when a woman can be herself? The simple truth is that being a woman in today's world is not an easy task!

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A guy decides to go get ice cream at 12 at night. He decides, goes, gets it, comes home and sleeps. A woman decides to go get ice cream at 10 PM. Is it safe? Her mother/father/husband/brother/room mate/friend in all probability will not allow her to, truth be told I wouldn't let my loved ones out alone at night - we have made it a world where women need to be scared! Even beyond all of this, if she goes - the stares she gets makes one feel any woman going out after 9 at night is a sex worker!

While a lot of our liberal minded stalwarts take a dig at sectarian countries where women don't have a choice to live their lives the way they deem fit, our country isn't too different. Women are looked down on. Even today a girl child is not seen with the same joy as a male child. Recently a relation of ours had a child. Her in laws had accumulated a lot of jewelry for the little one and on knowing it was a girl child they decided to not gift the jewelery and further more the partly paralyzed  father in law refused to hold the baby in his arms. When I go to my native village and as required by custom fall at the feet of older family members, the blessing is always the same - may you live happily in life and be blessed with a male heir! I have tried reasoning with a few of them about how a girl child is as good or even better - deaf ears and a look on their face saying - "what impudence!"

I was at a family gathering when a heated argument started between me and a girl cousin of mine. She stormed off. While I had other reasons to see my side of the argument as right, all other family members had only one reason to say I was right - a woman cannot raise her voice like that, women ought to be quiet and calm.

Inequality is everywhere - it's in the Indian army. The army recently displayed a regiment of women at the republic day parade. All nice and dandy, but did anyone know that women are still not allowed in the front line jobs in the army in India? The justification given by the great organization is that our country is not ready for this as yet, men reporting into women would be a problem. I understand that an organization like the army needs to be practical but if the utterly respected army follows a principle of this nature, it is impossible to expect any other organization or person to behave otherwise.

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If a man is overweight nobody cares, if a woman is overweight she is ugly. If a man works late he is working hard for the family, if a woman woks late she is ignoring the family. If a man decides not to do household chores he is taking a break from the stress, if a woman chooses to take a break (after house work, office work, taking care of the kids, taking care of her parents, taking care of her in laws) she is avoiding responsibility. If a man dresses up he is smart, if a woman dresses up she is trying too hard. If a man under dresses no one cares, but if a woman under dresses she is ugly. A man wakes up brushes, has his coffee, reads his papers, shaves, showers, has breakfast and goes to work. A woman wakes up, brushes, makes coffee, wakes the kids up, gets them ready, makes breakfast, gets ready, makes lunch to pack, goes through the stress of make up and dress up and then goes to a job that will look down upon her for the simple and utterly irrelevant fact that she has a uterus and a vagina instead of a penis!

It is not a happy woman's day! I know I sound all pessimistic and forlorn about the plight of our women, but only this awareness will bring about change in our world. Our women deserve love, care, affection, sympathy, but more than any of this she deserves respect and equality!

This post is dedicated to the women of my life, who have silently borne all the hardships to make my life better, happier and more fulfilling.