Ok,I know the topic I am writing about is done to death, but hey what the heck, only something that important will be done to death and spoken about again and again. So go on a read about it again - from my perspective.
This thing that I'm going to talk about is a real important one. It runs movies. The personal care, restaurant, accessories and clothes and a million other industries depends on this for their huge revenues. Many a story and almost all movies are based on this. Yep I know you would've guessed by now, and thinking - like this guy is smart or something. Its love, pyaar, premam, kadhal - kathrika (couldn't resist saying that. Only tamilians will understand that last word folks)
Everyone I know have their own stories and their own theories about love. Some guy says -don't believe in girls, some say - don't trust guys, some say - love is only after knowing one another and another says - love is only if my partner buys me a mercedes and so on...
I have had two relationships. Rather than categorize them as good or bad, I'd like to say both have given me so much in life. In terms of motivation, inspiration, help, development emotionally and so on. As they say there is no bad or good experience, they are all experiences. I dedicate this post to the two women who made my life much better and sometimes hell too (one of them). Here are some things I wanted to share about relationships. I am listing them with examples wherever possible to make it as concise and interesting as possible.
1. Contrary to myth a relationship can be liberating rather than curtailing freedom. It so happened that every week some "special" long lost friend of mine would land up in Chennai and I would end up drinking with my normal set of buddies and in addition to it with my long lost friend too. In my first relationship my partner would crib and blast and finally as women often do, say this - do what you want (which meant you had better not to do it unless you want to face dire consequences). In my second relationship my partner cut me slack, never said no, only said watch out for your health. With time I began to respect the freedom that I got and though I do end up drinking even now, I do avoid whenever I can and know, that I cant take that freedom for granted. Reverse psychology? I don't know, maybe!!
2. Times with friends are more fun that with girl friends - In my first relationship we always ended up at some restaurant or at the best some movie theatre and oh god I hated it. It was so boring!! In my second one, we again went for a lot of movies and to a lot of restaurants, but for a change we also went on bike trips, pubs etc.We also did a lot of stuff I wanted to do. It's about balance. Once both partners agree to spend some time doing what the other likes, life becomes real good in a relationship, many a time even better than times with friends!
3. Love is all about sacrifice - yes it is. In my first relationship I always got a feeling that I was giving too much and she wasn't, while she felt vice-versa. What actually happened was that both of us were focusing on why the other was not giving. In my second relationship we actually fought to make sacrifices for each other (friendly fights I mean) and life was so good. I mean we would both be trying our best to make each others lives better and in the end both ended up getting more than what we had expected. I know - weird paradox, but it works that way I guess!!
4. The no pressure theory - In my first relationship whenever a crisis came up - her parents not approving of our relationship and so on - both of us fretted and worried and cried our hearts out at the unfairness of life. If she expected something of me it was always nagging and pointing out and sarcasm and if I wanted something it was sarcasm, pressurization and so on!! In my second relationship we ourselves developed an attitude of "no pressure". Whatever we expected of each other we communicated openly and always added a "no pressure" tag meaning - "if it happens good, if it does not, its ok, I''ll learn to live with things the way they are because I care more about you!!!"
5. Love conquers all - Nope, it does not. There are a lot of practical things that you will have to prepared to face including rejection when you least expect it. You would have to get a job, do stuff for your partner that you may not always like to do and so on. But hey which aspect of life does not have its pros and cons
On the whole selflessness is the one trait that will make relationships really fun filled and happy ones. I could write more to support my theory but my second relationship beckons.. :) Pls feel free to put in your comments, but no abuse allowed..
This thing that I'm going to talk about is a real important one. It runs movies. The personal care, restaurant, accessories and clothes and a million other industries depends on this for their huge revenues. Many a story and almost all movies are based on this. Yep I know you would've guessed by now, and thinking - like this guy is smart or something. Its love, pyaar, premam, kadhal - kathrika (couldn't resist saying that. Only tamilians will understand that last word folks)
Everyone I know have their own stories and their own theories about love. Some guy says -don't believe in girls, some say - don't trust guys, some say - love is only after knowing one another and another says - love is only if my partner buys me a mercedes and so on...
I have had two relationships. Rather than categorize them as good or bad, I'd like to say both have given me so much in life. In terms of motivation, inspiration, help, development emotionally and so on. As they say there is no bad or good experience, they are all experiences. I dedicate this post to the two women who made my life much better and sometimes hell too (one of them). Here are some things I wanted to share about relationships. I am listing them with examples wherever possible to make it as concise and interesting as possible.
1. Contrary to myth a relationship can be liberating rather than curtailing freedom. It so happened that every week some "special" long lost friend of mine would land up in Chennai and I would end up drinking with my normal set of buddies and in addition to it with my long lost friend too. In my first relationship my partner would crib and blast and finally as women often do, say this - do what you want (which meant you had better not to do it unless you want to face dire consequences). In my second relationship my partner cut me slack, never said no, only said watch out for your health. With time I began to respect the freedom that I got and though I do end up drinking even now, I do avoid whenever I can and know, that I cant take that freedom for granted. Reverse psychology? I don't know, maybe!!
2. Times with friends are more fun that with girl friends - In my first relationship we always ended up at some restaurant or at the best some movie theatre and oh god I hated it. It was so boring!! In my second one, we again went for a lot of movies and to a lot of restaurants, but for a change we also went on bike trips, pubs etc.We also did a lot of stuff I wanted to do. It's about balance. Once both partners agree to spend some time doing what the other likes, life becomes real good in a relationship, many a time even better than times with friends!
3. Love is all about sacrifice - yes it is. In my first relationship I always got a feeling that I was giving too much and she wasn't, while she felt vice-versa. What actually happened was that both of us were focusing on why the other was not giving. In my second relationship we actually fought to make sacrifices for each other (friendly fights I mean) and life was so good. I mean we would both be trying our best to make each others lives better and in the end both ended up getting more than what we had expected. I know - weird paradox, but it works that way I guess!!
4. The no pressure theory - In my first relationship whenever a crisis came up - her parents not approving of our relationship and so on - both of us fretted and worried and cried our hearts out at the unfairness of life. If she expected something of me it was always nagging and pointing out and sarcasm and if I wanted something it was sarcasm, pressurization and so on!! In my second relationship we ourselves developed an attitude of "no pressure". Whatever we expected of each other we communicated openly and always added a "no pressure" tag meaning - "if it happens good, if it does not, its ok, I''ll learn to live with things the way they are because I care more about you!!!"
5. Love conquers all - Nope, it does not. There are a lot of practical things that you will have to prepared to face including rejection when you least expect it. You would have to get a job, do stuff for your partner that you may not always like to do and so on. But hey which aspect of life does not have its pros and cons
On the whole selflessness is the one trait that will make relationships really fun filled and happy ones. I could write more to support my theory but my second relationship beckons.. :) Pls feel free to put in your comments, but no abuse allowed..
Liked it a lot. Love with space is such awesomeness isn't it?
ReplyDeleteKeep your blog coming, its quite an interesting read.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThanks Rash.. Will keep writing. And yes Love with space is like subway subs. tastes good and yet healthy too. you have your cake and eat it too.. :)
DeleteSubway subs!! God you got so addicted to 'em :)
ReplyDeleteAbout the post, I love it. I love it for more than one reason!
You are loved for being what you are, and what's the whole point of diluting one self in the name of compromises?..
You do respect & acknowledge the freedom given tyu rather than misusing them and by doing so you only gain trust & more love:)
Wud love to read more of you & from you ;) Keep it coming!!
:) will write anonymous... U inspire me... thanks for your support... :)
Delete