I am a feminist. Without a doubt, unlike most other classifications I could attribute myself to, I am sure that I am a feminist.
I am not the kind that goes around carrying a placard that says "I am feminist because.. " Neither am I the kind that goes all awestruck and sad seeing another TRP focused news blast about a kid or a woman getting raped. I am not the kind of feminist that uses the topic of feminism to market a product. I do not stand for the feminism that hates men; I do no stand for anything that perpetuates hatred for that matter.
In no measure can I say that I don't ask my wife to cook for me or to do some chore in the house. Neither do I deny the fact that I have expectations about the way she looks. I don't prescribe to mainstream ideas of feminism such as getting freedom to do something or infusing more representation of women in the bodies that govern us.
I do not shun jokes about women, I sometimes even laugh at them, though many are really poor and couldn't elicit as much as a snicker from anyone. I do not advocate women to stand up for their rights by dressing up in a certain way or by behaving in a certain way. I do not have much of a say for the campaigners who think women should be able to go about baring breasts as much as men go about baring their waxed six packs.
So what makes me a feminist and someone else not one?
I believe in equality for women not in the manifestations of equality such as dressing or symbolic representation. I believe in equality at a much deeper level. To me feminism means accepting the fact that women are no different to men in anything except for the difference in reproductive organs. They need not be treated differently, they need be condescended upon, they don't need to "given" their rights!
The choice to cook or not cook is hers! I know I am not entitled to it. How my wife wants to look is her choice. I may have expectations, but I will not impose them on her.
I will laugh at jokes about women as much as I laugh at jokes about men. Here the merriment is about the joke and not the subject of the joke. If one's joy at these jokes stems from the fact that it is a woman who is at the heart of the joke I have a problem with that.
I am of the opinion that most of the energy spent on women's equality in channeled into superficial but sensational things such as what a woman should be allowed to wear, about her sexual choices, about her being sexually abused (in great detail in some papers; I refer to it as word porn) - basically tabloid news items linking women always with sexuality!
I have a problem with famous movie stars and TV personalities that use women's rights and freedoms as a platform to better the brands that they endorse and our smart viewers being the ardent fans of stars as they are - lap it all up and then decide this is what feminism is all about. I have an issue with only rape being used as a talking point to forward the cause of women.
The problem with this pseudo feminist approach is that where proper awareness is to be imparted to people, wrong ideas are placed in their minds thus warping feminism into some kind of glamorous modern idea that holds good only for the upper classes of women - typically educated, young, city bred women. That is not true. We all know that women in the rural areas are as much or more abused and discriminated against than this typecast mascot women talking about women's rights.
If someone truly thinks they are feminist, they first of all need to be compassionate and humane, feminism is just a reference of this compassion towards women. If someone really wants to liberate women, they need to start respecting the women of their lives and their choices need to be acknowledged and accepted.
To be a true feminist you need to get up early one day, wash the utensils, wash the clothes, make breakfast and dinner, bathe the kids, make the coffee, get to work, put up with idiots who look at you with lecherous eyes, fight to be heard in order to break the glass ceiling, get back home, pick the kids up, make dinner, say yes to a sexually overactive partner in spite of being tired, and then get some sleep before being woken up by the kid for a nappy change and a feed. If you can be sensitive to all this and acknowledge that women deserve much much more than they get now, you can call yourself a feminist, anything else is just a fad. Grow up, read more and then you can come back to the topic of feminism.
I am not the kind that goes around carrying a placard that says "I am feminist because.. " Neither am I the kind that goes all awestruck and sad seeing another TRP focused news blast about a kid or a woman getting raped. I am not the kind of feminist that uses the topic of feminism to market a product. I do not stand for the feminism that hates men; I do no stand for anything that perpetuates hatred for that matter.
In no measure can I say that I don't ask my wife to cook for me or to do some chore in the house. Neither do I deny the fact that I have expectations about the way she looks. I don't prescribe to mainstream ideas of feminism such as getting freedom to do something or infusing more representation of women in the bodies that govern us.
I do not shun jokes about women, I sometimes even laugh at them, though many are really poor and couldn't elicit as much as a snicker from anyone. I do not advocate women to stand up for their rights by dressing up in a certain way or by behaving in a certain way. I do not have much of a say for the campaigners who think women should be able to go about baring breasts as much as men go about baring their waxed six packs.
So what makes me a feminist and someone else not one?
I believe in equality for women not in the manifestations of equality such as dressing or symbolic representation. I believe in equality at a much deeper level. To me feminism means accepting the fact that women are no different to men in anything except for the difference in reproductive organs. They need not be treated differently, they need be condescended upon, they don't need to "given" their rights!
The choice to cook or not cook is hers! I know I am not entitled to it. How my wife wants to look is her choice. I may have expectations, but I will not impose them on her.
I will laugh at jokes about women as much as I laugh at jokes about men. Here the merriment is about the joke and not the subject of the joke. If one's joy at these jokes stems from the fact that it is a woman who is at the heart of the joke I have a problem with that.
I am of the opinion that most of the energy spent on women's equality in channeled into superficial but sensational things such as what a woman should be allowed to wear, about her sexual choices, about her being sexually abused (in great detail in some papers; I refer to it as word porn) - basically tabloid news items linking women always with sexuality!
I have a problem with famous movie stars and TV personalities that use women's rights and freedoms as a platform to better the brands that they endorse and our smart viewers being the ardent fans of stars as they are - lap it all up and then decide this is what feminism is all about. I have an issue with only rape being used as a talking point to forward the cause of women.
The problem with this pseudo feminist approach is that where proper awareness is to be imparted to people, wrong ideas are placed in their minds thus warping feminism into some kind of glamorous modern idea that holds good only for the upper classes of women - typically educated, young, city bred women. That is not true. We all know that women in the rural areas are as much or more abused and discriminated against than this typecast mascot women talking about women's rights.
If someone truly thinks they are feminist, they first of all need to be compassionate and humane, feminism is just a reference of this compassion towards women. If someone really wants to liberate women, they need to start respecting the women of their lives and their choices need to be acknowledged and accepted.
To be a true feminist you need to get up early one day, wash the utensils, wash the clothes, make breakfast and dinner, bathe the kids, make the coffee, get to work, put up with idiots who look at you with lecherous eyes, fight to be heard in order to break the glass ceiling, get back home, pick the kids up, make dinner, say yes to a sexually overactive partner in spite of being tired, and then get some sleep before being woken up by the kid for a nappy change and a feed. If you can be sensitive to all this and acknowledge that women deserve much much more than they get now, you can call yourself a feminist, anything else is just a fad. Grow up, read more and then you can come back to the topic of feminism.
Simply because you don't want to impose things on your wife doesn't mean side won't. Simply because you think women in villages are more abused that doesn't mean they are not cruel. You have thought of a egalitarian definition of feminism which is no more true. The global feminism is now controlled by red pill feminism. And while you are a proud feminist (as I was once) you are not aware how many different ways your own feminism ideas are used to kill you in future.
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