The culture conundrum

         

Picture source - http://www.humblelibertarian.com/2012/02/cultural-differences.html

           In Tamil Nadu it is alright to marry your niece. In China snakes are a sought after, sumptuous, meal table offering. In the United States it is alright to kiss in public, in India as many of us are already aware, its alright to piss in public. The Eskimos greet each other by rubbing noses - the reason behind this, I presume, must be because the only exposed part of ones body in the extreme cold would be the face and so the nose found the honorable task of saying hello. In Some Christian families in Kerala it is alright for the family including the old "Ammachi" to share a drink together. In a village in Dindigul (Tamil Nadu) all the houses share a set of common toilets built away from where the residences are; an age old belief that the place where one eats cannot also contain the place where one defecates being the reason.

          In many Kerala and all Tamil Brahmin families the husband is referred to as "cheta" and "na" respectively which are also the words in the respective languages to respectfully address the elder brother. In Indian languages the word "you" has two variants, one for elders and people "worthy" of respect and the usual one for the less worthy of respect ones; for eg: in Tamil "neenga" and "nee". In the West its just "you" whether its your grandmother of 85 or the Prime Minister or a toddler. All over India Brahmins do not eat meat or fish. In West Bengal ostensibly Brahmins eat fish and is referred to as "water flower".

           In Hindu families alchohol consumption is frowned upon. The festival of Holi on the other hand stands out for the tradition of having "Bhang", an extract of the Cannabis plant; Marijuana is the western name of this extract in another form. In Tamil Brahmin families once the girl is married off, the grooms family has choice of renaming the bride.

          I just wanted to present a few cases of culturally induced practices from different parts of the world. To those members of the society, who do not belong to the culture I have described, some of these practices may seem weird, funny or downright repugnant, but hey who are you or I to judge? That's just the way it is. To every man his ways.

         I was reading the book "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell and he talks about a concept called "Cultural legacy". The gist of it being, the culture we grow up in shapes our life in more ways that we ever imagined. Our decisions, even in the most precarious of moments, are influenced by this. He states the case of a Korean airline that had a higher history of crashes than any airline in the world, so much so that the Korean President switched services to another competing airliner. The simple reason for the crashes was the domicile nature of the Korean first officers who found it hard to voice their concerns about some impending cause such as weather to their captains because of which the crashes happened. He then goes on to quote about a part of the United states where the incidents of cardiac incidents was abnormally low as compared to the national average and the reason the researchers ascribe to,based on years of study, will astonish you. I'll leave that open, you really should read the book to know it.

          He talks about a certain part of the USA where the occurrence of family feuds that culminated in multiple killings was rampant. He links it to the cultural influence of "the value of holding up the honour of the family". I couldn't help but think about the Southern parts of Tamil Nadu that are known for this kind of a culture. It also made me wonder about the honour killing judgments that our Khap panchayats dole out by the multitudes every year in our country.

          In Scandinavian countries it is common to see the Prime Minister going about his duties in the same fashion as a normal citizen, no cavalcades for travel to work, no special entries to avail common facilities and they even cycle to work. Can you think of any politician in India on those terms? Such austerity is seen in our politicians during their cycle rallies during campaigning, but as a way of life? The case is the same in many countries around the world. This is not an individual trait though; if any individual from that generation had been in the politicians chair they would have displayed the same sense of pomp and brazenness. It is a culturally ingrained habit for us Indians to show off our wealth, power and status. It will take us time to change all that; the change is already visible though - today's youth are shunning the engineering and medicines degrees to look for career options that gives them joy. Our parents generation who fought hard to be an engineer or doctor to show the world they had arrived, does not ring a bell with today's kids.

          Lets move on to events closer home. My wife's grand mother was talking about one of her grand children who, due to her husbands order for refrain, didn't visit her. She complained to me and I hinted that it could be because her husband didn't amicably allow her to visit, to which she retorted saying "She must take things in her hand, its her life". I was surprised, because in most Indian families the males dominate the decision making and women are generally very docile and silent. The Tamil Brahmin family stands outs in this. In my observation many a TamBrahm family is matriarchal; not all, but quite a few. Even in those that are not of the  former kind, the women of the family generally have a say and are opinionated. If this had happened in the community that I was born into, the women generally would end this by saying that if the man of the family thought it fit to restrain the woman, so be it, that's the end to it.

         As I read this book and related it with my life I understand that a lot of my behavior is not culturally bound, I was in boarding since the age of five. I noted that compared to a lot of people, I am a little more tolerant of a lot of cross cultural behaviors. I do not find it repugnant that people eat snakes, neither am I averse to eating with the left hand. I don't find it weird that the Brahmin folds up his sacred thread around his ear when he is entering the bathroom, as much as I don't find it weird that the Malayalee Christian family drinks together or the Tamil guy marrying his niece (Is it healthy? That's another topic to discuss another time).

          I think we need to teach kids to tolerate, rather, appreciate other cultures. And for this we need to expose them to the wonderful world out there. In a country as diverse as India, there will be no dearth for this. We are a melting pot of cultures differing in caste, creed, religion, languages, all spawning grounds for cultural differences.

           This will ensure harmony and of course importantly, less pompous politicians.